something new is going on

This blog is called "beyond the pillbox" for a couple of reasons. Mainly I wanted to convey that life is moving forward despite (or because of) this beloved pillbox of mine. But also that sometimes it's really hard for me to look far beyond this container of medicine--especially because late doses mean pain and then further problems evening things out again. It's also been hard to look beyond the $$ I spend on these medications and also hard to face the side effects every day as well as the typical cycle of feeling the pain coverage wear off. That's where I am now. For the past several weeks I've had pain every day---usually manageable (definition: it does not make me cry and other people can usually not notice I'm having a problem).

Now I'm developing something new, which is actually kind of interesting to me. It's a new electrical snap kind of pain. It often happens out of nowhere without any apparent trigger, and this is really different from all the other kinds of pain I've had (zaps, jolts, sizzles, jabs, etc.) The only thing that does seem to trigger it is lying down, which is bothersome to me because until now I have had no problems with sleep. The last few nights I've been awakened by this, just for a couple of seconds, and then I'm back to sleep until the next time.

So because surgery is not that far away (though there's no confirmed date on the calendar yet), I have been resisting the urge/need to increase some of the medication to keep things better controlled. It seems like a better justification of the need for surgery if I am actually experiencing pain, or at least that is what I have been telling myself. That way I'll be better able to tell if the surgery was successful instead of waiting the month or more afterward when I get to go off my medications. BUT, I am just hoping and praying this does not get worse before it gets better!