This was a hard day. If anyone had asked me how I am coping I would have had a very hard time coming up with an answer. Trigeminal neuralgia came like a bolt of lightning (pun very much intended) and progressively has made its way into every aspect of my life. It's affecting my family, my friends, my workplace. For a long time I tried and was pretty much able to stay focused on the present day and that helped a lot in keeping down anxiety over the uncertainty that lay ahead, but now I am not able to manage that.
After a day of feeling sad and defeated and hurting, I went for a short walk with Chance and decided to go into the woods across the road. I stood there and watched leaves blowing down from the trees and started to think about all the other people I know who are carrying heavy burdens right now, too. I realized that we all have to find ways to cope and get through the hard parts...and I began to remember the things that help me.
Emails, calls and visits with friends, conversations with family, hugs, prayer, crying, writing this blog, listening to public radio, making soup, reading papers online, going to school things, walking with Chance, petting any of the cats (but especially Pumpkin, who has the perfect temperament), reading (for the few minutes I can concentrate before dozing off...), listening to my ipod, going to counseling, routine massage therapy appointments, my book group, watching Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, being around little kids, looking at my photos, making scrapbooks, reading blogs...trying to keep things normal.
Oh, the list will just go on and on. That's a good thing. If I keep that in perspective I will be able to remember that just because TN is affecting all parts of my life, it does not have to define my whole life.
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