This past weekend I went to a Labyrinth Retreat with some close friends. Not knowing much about labyrinths, I was going into this with a very trusting attitude, but also expecting it to be a good experience for me personally. Plus, I know that time spent with these three women is always a good thing. For the uninitiated, a labyrinth is not the same thing as a maze--a maze is designed to trick you (think of a corn maze and that horrible part of I think the 4th Harry Potter movie). I learned that there are different styles of labyrinths, with various traditional patterns. A labyrinth has all sorts of symbolism associated with it, but basically it is a path that you follow to get to the center and then you walk the same path out. You will always come out more calm and centered on the way out than you were on the way in. It was a very peaceful experience. We were at the Pilgrim Center on Green Lake and they have just finished an outdoor labyrinth, where the path is outlined in rocks. It's in the middle of the woods and just beautiful. Our group was the first to use it, and we participated in its formal blessing. I don't think I can really find the words to do justice to how it felt for me to walk that labyrinth with 20 other people, quietly, privately thinking, praying, letting go of anxiety. There are some trees in the path, which are an obvious metaphor for life's challenges that get in your way; there were also places along the path where the sun broke through the canopy and you could just choose to be still and soak it in for a moment.

Having faciliated many a grief support group, I wonder how many times I have reminded someone that you really cannot compare losses and griefs? No two are alike and a there is no way to get an equal comparison. It's a common thing to do to try to feel better, I guess. Today I met a woman I have known for a long time who knows nothing of what I've been going through, and she told me about many devastating things that have happened in her family in the past year, and after we talked, I found myself thinking, well, I guess I can cope with this illness and pain--at least it's not as bad as what she's going through. It helped me gain perspective for today.

When the girls get home on the bus (the worst part of Laura's day--rowdy kids who swear and say stupid mean things. I hear her outrage every day!) I will help Liz with her most recent Huck Finn essay and have Laura finish the grocery list she started the other day. Then we'll turn around and Liz will drive us into town, drop herself off at play practice and Laura and I will get some shopping done. I am not excited about driving tonight but with company and determination it will be okay. I have a safety zone of about 15 miles from home. It has been 6 months since I have driven anywhere out of Wood County! I trust that I will be able to venture out again one day.

The very, very nice assistant to the neurosurgeon I would like to see in Milwaukee has told me that they still have not received my medical records! This is the first thing that must happen before I get an appointment scheduled. So I called the very, very nice Debbie at Marshfield Clinic who is re-sending the whole 63 page pack to them right away. The first pack was sent to the Medical College and not to the building where patients are seen, so my medical records are floating around the huge medical complex... You know, I'm not even too worried about this because I know it's just a matter of a couple of days and I know I'll be on track.